I found the following post on OH today, and it really spoke to me…
To lose the weight would mean to allow myself to hurt. To lose weight would mean not numbing myself anymore. It would mean experiencing pain to its maximum. It would also mean experiencing happiness. I tend to forget.
My weight is a barrier between me and others. I’ve allowed it to define me because I am afraid of defining myself- and being disappointed. To lose weight would mean to experience. To lose the weight would mean to break down the walls that have protected me for so long.
To lose weight also means living in the present. To accept your failures and go for your successes. It would mean leaving the realm of “When I lose weight” and enter that of “Today I will”.
It is difficult to be thinner because it would entail in living. And life is scary. And life can hurt. But I will find the strength to lose this safety net I have made of my body and allow myself to be for the first time in a while…